VENTING OUT MY FEELING

MY PURPOSE OF WRITING THIS BLOG IS TO VENT OUT(WHICH IS MAKING ME SICK) MY FEELING REGARDING MAINTAINING THE RELATIONSHIP WITH MY MENTORS, FRIENDS , BLOOD RELATIONS, NEIGHBORS, GOOD COMPANIONS SO ON........

I HAVE VERY RECENTLY FOUND OUT THAT TOO ACCIDENTALLY ABOUT MY BIGGEST WEAKNESS OF NOT MAINTAINING THE RELATIONSHIP. SO FAR I HAVE NEVER FOUND DIFFICULTLY IN DEVELOPING RELATIONSHIP WITH ANYONE, HOWEVER TO SUSTAIN OR MAINTAIN IS MY BIG CONCERN-IN OTHER WORDS I LACK IN CONSISTENCY IN MY APPROACH WITH HUMANS OVER ALL.

FOR EXAMPLE:  I AM GOING TO SHARE MY BLENDER WITH ONE OF THE PERSON(ELDER TO ME BY 5/6 YEARS WHOM I CONSIDER AS MY VALUABLE PERSON IN MY EARLY DAYS. FROM MY CHILDHOOD DAYS, I LOVE CRICKET & CHESS (BOTH PLAYING & WATCHING) COMPARED TO OTHER SPORTS AND GAMES. BECAUSE OF MY ENVIRONMENT MY SKILLS WERE NOT NURTURED TO BIG STAGE UNTIL I MET THIS PERSON DURING A COLLEGE TOURNAMENT. HE IS VERY FAMOUS AMONG THE CRICKETING FRATERNITY( WHICH I CAME TO KNOW LATER), I PLAYED AGAINST HIM ONCE, AFTER 2,3 MEETING I STARTED LIKING HIM THE WAY HE SPOKE TO EVERYBODY.

I WAS LOOKING FOR AN OPPORTUNITY TO TALK TO HIM ALONE(NORMALLY HE TALKS WITH A GROUP), IT NEVER HAPPENED. WHEN I STARTED MEETING HIM QUITE OFTEN, I ALSO BECAME ONE OF HIS GROUP PERSON. I FELT VERY PROUD TO BE NEAR WITH HIM & LISTENING TO HIS SPEECH.

ONE DAY, I WAS SITTING IN THE COLLEGE GALLERY, WATCHING A PRACTICE MATCH, HE CAME CLOSE AND SAT NEAR TO ME. THAT MOMENT CHANGED MY  NEXT 3 YEARS OF MY COLLEGE LIFE. DURING OUR TALK, I PRAISED HIS COSTLY BAT, THEN HE ASKED WHY DON'T YOU OWN THIS KIND OF BAT(THAT TIME I PLAY WITH OTHERS/COLLEGE BAT). I EXPLAINED MY FAMILY SITUATION TO HIM WHERE I LOST MY MOM AND MY DAD WORKS HARD TO PAY MY COLLEGE FEES. IN THAT CASE, HOW CAN I ASK MY DAD TO GIVE 1000 BUCKS TO BUY A BAT? THEN HE EXPLAINED ME TO BUY THE BAT WITHOUT ASKING FROM MY DAD. DURING THE COURSE, HE IS A LEAGUE SUB-COMMITTEE MEMBER IN CRICKET ASSOCIATION, SO HE HELPED ME TO BE A SCORER IN ALL WEEKENDS AND EARN 80 BUCKS PER WEEK. SOMETIMES IN THE TOURNAMENT SEASONS, INCOME PER WEEK WILL BE MORE.
 AFTER 3 MONTHS I OWNED A BRAND NEW BAT, NOT SO COSTLY STILL ITS MY OWN BAT. ONCE IT SO HAPPENED, ONE OF THE UMPIRE DIDN'T TURN UP, SO AS AN OFFICIAL SCORER, I GOT MY FIRST CHANCE TO OFFICIATE CRICKET MATCH. HE ALSO INFORMED ME THAT THE WAYS AND MEANS TO WRITE EXAMS AND GET THROUGH UMPIRE TEST BY SENDING SPECIAL CLASSES. HE ALSO BACKED ME DURING ANY CRISIS IN THE MATCH AS AN OFFICIAL UMPIRE(AFTER I PASSED) IF ANY DISCREPANCIES REGARDING UMPIRING STANDARD. IT GAVE ME HELL LOT OF CONFIDENCE.
AS A PLAYER, HE SELECTED ME FOR HIS FIRST DIVISION LEAGUE TEAM, NURTURED ME AS A PLAYER. I LIKE THE MOST FROM HIM-HE IS AN UNBIASED PERSON, WAY HE EXPLAINS ONE'S PROBLEM, CARE TOWARDS INDIVIDUAL. MORE FOR ME- HE IS EVERYTHING FOR ME.
NOW, ONCE I LEFT MY COLLEGE LIFE, MY FOCUS WAS MORE TOWARDS MY PROFESSION, LESS TOWARDS MY PERSONAL. I KEPT IN TOUCH WITH HIM ONCE IN A MONTH. AFTER I GOT TRANSFERRED TO DIFFERENT PLACES, MY COMMUNICATION WITH HIM ONLY ON NEW YEAR FOR SOME YEARS. EVEN NOW AND THEN I TALK TO HIM(FRANKNESS & INTIMACY IS MISSING), HOWEVER I FEEL I HAVE LOST A VERY GOOD MENTOR.
                                HERE I AGREE THAT I HAVEN'T KEPT MY CONSISTENCY IN MAINTAINING RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM.
                       
                                  EVEN NOW WHENEVER I DO UMPIRING IN BIG STAGE, STILL I CAN'T BE THERE WITHOUT HIM.

THIS IS ONLY AN EXAMPLE.....................  STILL SO MANY PEOPLE I HAVE LOST LIKE THIS.............................................. OH GOD STOP THIS PLEASE........