CARE IS THE PIVOT FOR THIS RELATIONSHIP

In this blog I will try to express my inner feeling about a human (I doubt words would still fail to show the my real feeling). I am going to share about a person who have inspired me like friend, mentor, childhood hero, guide, philosopher, moreover a person who took a special care for me till now, etc....( Still I am not happy with the intro)

I must mention that how he differs from other persons i came across in my life, He is a person full of love, emotion, affection, care, control, sacrifice(lot), so on, on and on........ He is a human who have unpredicted temperament, mental toughness, never giving-up attitude, very specifically his courage to face anything( I don't remember an incident he worried to face an assault). His courage is the most admiring quality which i like from him.(No one have according to me)

Now, I will share how we move along in the past. Our likes and dislike would ever matched in those days, typical opposite pole. If he like Kamal, I like Rajini, If i like playing indoor games, he plays outdoor sports, if i play with a group, below of my age, he plays above of his age, he is a science student, i am an art student, anything and everything this will not match except a hidden care with him always for me.Many a times, I compete with him and ended up with a big failure. I never realized that i can't match him because he is a legend in everything.

When we grow, I thought issues will also grow. However, he never considered me as a threat. There were so many occasions whenever I broke in my life, My chips were down, I lost myself to the failure, He was there as an uninvited person to share his shoulder to me. When i grow older, my thoughts also got matured- now i realize how much i have hurt him, what were the occasions, what was his stand, only one thing i could realize that he wanted me to be good and safe. The greatness about his affection is that I could only realize, no definitions.

People say in olden days, we have 7 life like this! I pray god that in all 7 life, I must associate with him in some ways, live to his likings. This is basically because as both got old, I am not sure that i will get an opportunity to be good as he expects. He has given me so much that i could not satisfy him in this life. I may sound emotional, yes i am. I would like to recall an old saying" When you pain somebody, you will be pained by somebody". Now i take so much of care for my kid(any one for that matter), my kid is behaving the same way that i behaved with him. Now i have realized how it would have been for him when i was doing that to him.

In front of him, I might not have given respect to his words, However, he is the only person who can control me now. I had a different kind of adhering to his words, It might look that i haven't taken his words, however, I will be doing the same thing as he expects me to do. In general, I never said "yes! I will do" in front of him.However I have followed a lot of his words exactly the same way, Still i am not convinced that I obey his words.

I am not sure that anybody who got a person like him in their life, even the person whom i am describing.Its not that we don't have difference of opinion, we have a lot, however care will be the pivot in the end.Here i would like to disclose about the person whom i have described so far"He is my one & only elder brother"

It must be a god's gift to have anyone who cares like him and who provide a unconditional affection. I will not comment on his merits and demerits, his achievements and failure etc.... This is an expression of younger to elder.

Before i conclude, I want to say & In my life,So far I have ever said this to my lovable brother that"I LOVE YOU SO MUCH" and "I AM SORRY FOR THE MISTAKES I HAVE DONE" I know that he will not mind all this, Because, He is a legend.

Do friendship have definition or boundaries or any limitations?

The purpose of writing this blog is to find out how a human consider another human as friend, philosopher, guide,mentor etc.... though he crosses so many humans in the process.


Recently, I have come across a question posed to a group where i was part of it. How many friends you have currently? so many answers given(which is not relevant to this blog). The very common in answers were-the numbers were very less. what it means? Inspite of meeting, talking, moving with so many individuals in life, we choose only few humans as good friends, what do we name others? companions? passer-by? then what?


Here, I want to really recall how i/we have chosen my/our close friend(only one). how i met him? how we both were inspired each other? what was common between us? how he made me feel when we were together as well as far(missing). why only him, though many were there? 


Honestly, I don't find answers for this questions. What  it means? friendship is also a feeling like love(mean-between male & female). We can only feel, realize, enjoy the friendship. It doesn't have any scripted picture or definitions.


In general, to be a good, reliable, everlasting friend- I must possess the following qualities in me atleast with my friend: Atmost care for his well-being, no expectations, creating a value of bondage & sense of security. etc......


I will go places(geographically/achievement), however he will be like an oxygen, need of him will ever diminish until my lungs doesn't need it. 


Before, I conclude, There are so many individuals in my life, who have inspired me, have become my mentors, guide, philosophers etc... Of-course, They are very important, however a friend has no boundaries, I have a thorough freedom to talk of what i really feel about anything. 
However others have!


I don't believe in" friend in need is a friend indeed". "He is like a helmet who will protect when you get a hit, however you will pray not to get a hit". This is only an example not an ideal situation. No string attached.

VENTING OUT MY FEELING

MY PURPOSE OF WRITING THIS BLOG IS TO VENT OUT(WHICH IS MAKING ME SICK) MY FEELING REGARDING MAINTAINING THE RELATIONSHIP WITH MY MENTORS, FRIENDS , BLOOD RELATIONS, NEIGHBORS, GOOD COMPANIONS SO ON........

I HAVE VERY RECENTLY FOUND OUT THAT TOO ACCIDENTALLY ABOUT MY BIGGEST WEAKNESS OF NOT MAINTAINING THE RELATIONSHIP. SO FAR I HAVE NEVER FOUND DIFFICULTLY IN DEVELOPING RELATIONSHIP WITH ANYONE, HOWEVER TO SUSTAIN OR MAINTAIN IS MY BIG CONCERN-IN OTHER WORDS I LACK IN CONSISTENCY IN MY APPROACH WITH HUMANS OVER ALL.

FOR EXAMPLE:  I AM GOING TO SHARE MY BLENDER WITH ONE OF THE PERSON(ELDER TO ME BY 5/6 YEARS WHOM I CONSIDER AS MY VALUABLE PERSON IN MY EARLY DAYS. FROM MY CHILDHOOD DAYS, I LOVE CRICKET & CHESS (BOTH PLAYING & WATCHING) COMPARED TO OTHER SPORTS AND GAMES. BECAUSE OF MY ENVIRONMENT MY SKILLS WERE NOT NURTURED TO BIG STAGE UNTIL I MET THIS PERSON DURING A COLLEGE TOURNAMENT. HE IS VERY FAMOUS AMONG THE CRICKETING FRATERNITY( WHICH I CAME TO KNOW LATER), I PLAYED AGAINST HIM ONCE, AFTER 2,3 MEETING I STARTED LIKING HIM THE WAY HE SPOKE TO EVERYBODY.

I WAS LOOKING FOR AN OPPORTUNITY TO TALK TO HIM ALONE(NORMALLY HE TALKS WITH A GROUP), IT NEVER HAPPENED. WHEN I STARTED MEETING HIM QUITE OFTEN, I ALSO BECAME ONE OF HIS GROUP PERSON. I FELT VERY PROUD TO BE NEAR WITH HIM & LISTENING TO HIS SPEECH.

ONE DAY, I WAS SITTING IN THE COLLEGE GALLERY, WATCHING A PRACTICE MATCH, HE CAME CLOSE AND SAT NEAR TO ME. THAT MOMENT CHANGED MY  NEXT 3 YEARS OF MY COLLEGE LIFE. DURING OUR TALK, I PRAISED HIS COSTLY BAT, THEN HE ASKED WHY DON'T YOU OWN THIS KIND OF BAT(THAT TIME I PLAY WITH OTHERS/COLLEGE BAT). I EXPLAINED MY FAMILY SITUATION TO HIM WHERE I LOST MY MOM AND MY DAD WORKS HARD TO PAY MY COLLEGE FEES. IN THAT CASE, HOW CAN I ASK MY DAD TO GIVE 1000 BUCKS TO BUY A BAT? THEN HE EXPLAINED ME TO BUY THE BAT WITHOUT ASKING FROM MY DAD. DURING THE COURSE, HE IS A LEAGUE SUB-COMMITTEE MEMBER IN CRICKET ASSOCIATION, SO HE HELPED ME TO BE A SCORER IN ALL WEEKENDS AND EARN 80 BUCKS PER WEEK. SOMETIMES IN THE TOURNAMENT SEASONS, INCOME PER WEEK WILL BE MORE.
 AFTER 3 MONTHS I OWNED A BRAND NEW BAT, NOT SO COSTLY STILL ITS MY OWN BAT. ONCE IT SO HAPPENED, ONE OF THE UMPIRE DIDN'T TURN UP, SO AS AN OFFICIAL SCORER, I GOT MY FIRST CHANCE TO OFFICIATE CRICKET MATCH. HE ALSO INFORMED ME THAT THE WAYS AND MEANS TO WRITE EXAMS AND GET THROUGH UMPIRE TEST BY SENDING SPECIAL CLASSES. HE ALSO BACKED ME DURING ANY CRISIS IN THE MATCH AS AN OFFICIAL UMPIRE(AFTER I PASSED) IF ANY DISCREPANCIES REGARDING UMPIRING STANDARD. IT GAVE ME HELL LOT OF CONFIDENCE.
AS A PLAYER, HE SELECTED ME FOR HIS FIRST DIVISION LEAGUE TEAM, NURTURED ME AS A PLAYER. I LIKE THE MOST FROM HIM-HE IS AN UNBIASED PERSON, WAY HE EXPLAINS ONE'S PROBLEM, CARE TOWARDS INDIVIDUAL. MORE FOR ME- HE IS EVERYTHING FOR ME.
NOW, ONCE I LEFT MY COLLEGE LIFE, MY FOCUS WAS MORE TOWARDS MY PROFESSION, LESS TOWARDS MY PERSONAL. I KEPT IN TOUCH WITH HIM ONCE IN A MONTH. AFTER I GOT TRANSFERRED TO DIFFERENT PLACES, MY COMMUNICATION WITH HIM ONLY ON NEW YEAR FOR SOME YEARS. EVEN NOW AND THEN I TALK TO HIM(FRANKNESS & INTIMACY IS MISSING), HOWEVER I FEEL I HAVE LOST A VERY GOOD MENTOR.
                                HERE I AGREE THAT I HAVEN'T KEPT MY CONSISTENCY IN MAINTAINING RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM.
                       
                                  EVEN NOW WHENEVER I DO UMPIRING IN BIG STAGE, STILL I CAN'T BE THERE WITHOUT HIM.

THIS IS ONLY AN EXAMPLE.....................  STILL SO MANY PEOPLE I HAVE LOST LIKE THIS.............................................. OH GOD STOP THIS PLEASE........